The joys of aging gracefully – said no one ever! Our elders have passed on a plethora of witty, but slightly grim, sayings about getting older. From “getting old stinks” to “time is a great healer, but a poor beautician,” they had a way of painting aging as a destitute journey toward sagging skin and creaking joints. Times have changed. While aging has been seen through a lens of decline in the past, it is now being embraced for the opportunities within it.
This year, I found myself at the crossroads of middle age. I hit the big 5-0! And, as Maya Angelou said, “At 50, I began to know who I was. It was like waking up to myself.” So, here are the lies I began to speak truth to:
The Lies
“Getting Old Stinks”
Reality check: Aging isn’t all doom and gloom. Sure, there are challenges . . . like the day I turned 50, my eyes suddenly decided reading without extended arms was a no-go. Now, I have a pair of readers on my head, tucked in my shirt, and in my car at all times! This is a small challenge of aging but there’s also wisdom, resilience, and newfound freedom. Instead of telling myself what drudgery it is to need readers, I look for “cute” frames to match my outfits. It’s all about perspective.
“Your Best Days Are Behind You”
False alarm: Life isn’t a downhill slope. Your best days can be today, tomorrow, and every day you choose to live fully. Because of my five decades of living life, I’m better able to put the bad days in perspective and feel gratitude for the good days. I let myself feel every emotion that comes to me, unashamed, at least for a moment. That’s freedom!
“You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
Spark alert: Passion, curiosity, and creativity don’t have an expiration date. Recently in my late 40’s and now at 50, I’ve learned to stand-up paddleboard, climb a gym rope at Crossfit, and renovate a camper. Everyone can keep igniting that spark within by trying new things, learning something novel, or taking on an exciting adventure.
“Your best health is behind you.”
Fake news: Of course, my body has changed as I’ve aged. I’m getting the normal aches and pains. While I’m more conscious of what I put into my body, I am also equally forgiving of myself for that yummy dessert I choose to enjoy. I have an “everything-in-moderation” approach today that is much more freeing than either the rigidity or reckless abandon of my youth.
Also, in the last year, I’ve ran the Blue Ridge Relay as the oldest woman on my team, the New River Half Marathon, a 5k race and a 10k race. And, guess what – I wasn’t the oldest person out there, and many runners older than me finished ahead of me. Older adults taking on amazing physical feats and exciting adventures constantly inspire me.
“You’ll be lonely.”
Faulty Reasoning: I am entering the empty nest phase of my life. My children are growing up and moving on with their lives. I expected sadness and a sense of emptiness but, in reality, I am filled with pride and overjoyed with abundance. My significant other is always ready for an adventure. And, he and I have a rich network of friends and family we have nurtured over the years. Staying connected as we age is both possible and 100% necessary.
Rewriting the Script
While it is true that aging can mean battling ailments, experiencing declines in health, and losing connections with others, that is not the only picture of growing older. Aging can be an adventure, not the gloom and doom we associate with it before we arrive there. Laugh lines are badges of honor, and worry lines mean you have had things and people in your life you care about deeply.
George Bernard Shaw said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old. We grow old because we stop playing.” So, no matter what aging has brought your way, carve out moments to play, connect, and learn.
-Patricia Calloway, Executive Director
Generations Ashe
